On Saturday, December 21, I drove 112 miles round trip to Mule Creek State Prison in Ione, California. I’d missed my November visit with Travis Christian (BB8099) because of rainy weather. The country road I have to drive is old, narrow, full of pot holes, 90 degree curves, and roller-coaster type hills you can’t see over until you’re literally on top of them. You hope there’s not a tractor or a motorcycle on the downward side. Frequent warning signs say, “Flood Zone. Turn Around/Don’t Drown.”
I was eager to see Travis. I’d written him that I intended to visit on Sunday, December 22, and then the weather forecast predicted rain that day. I changed my appointment at the prison to visit Travis on Saturday but I had no way let him know.
Saturday was gray. The prison grounds were gray. The prison walls were gray. No color anywhere. It must be hard to be prison staff and work day in and day out in moody surroundings. As soon as I turned my visitor’s pass in to the guard in the visiting room, he said, “Take cubicle number one. Travis will be right here.”
I sat down on the visitor’s side of the glass. A guard opened the door to the cubicle. Travis soon stepped into view — his wrists shackled behind his back — with a big bushy beard (something new) and a big, bright smile. With his wrists free, Travis picked up the phone and said, “Dede, I’m so happy and surprised to see you today. When they called ‘Christian’ I knew I had a visitor. I knew it was you.”
We launched into a fast-paced exchange. “How are you?” “You have a new beard.” “You look great, Dede.” “You look great, Travis.” And off we went…
Travis wanted to be sure I let everyone know how much he appreciates the cards, letters and books you’re sending. “Today, I’m writing to Sue and Patricia. For now, I have plenty of books. Did you get the list I sent you?”
I did get the list. Travis, thanks to many of you, now has these books on a shelf in his cell in the hole:
1) From Failure to Huge Success Stories
2) A Night in Jail - A Story About Drugs
3) Rosemary, The Hidden Kennedy Daughter
4) Not Guilty By Reason of Insanity
5) Writing My Wrongs
6) Recovery - Freedom From Our Addictions
7) Save Me From Myself - How I Found God
8) Heavier Than Heaven
9) God Will Use This For Good
10)You’ll Get Through This
11) From Prison to Prosperity
12) Elevation
13) The Hunt for Red October
14) Delight in Disorder
15) Patriot Games
16) The Boy in the Wooden Box
17) Just Mercy
18) Fall to Pieces
19) Robin Williams
20) The Chris Farley Show
21) Schizophrenia Understanding
22) Johnny Cash - Autobiography
23) My House of Memories - Merle Haggard
24) The Fallen - David Balducci
25) The Incredible Journey
26) Man’s Search for Meaning
27) American Short Story Masterpieces
28) Surviving the Stress
29) The Elephant Whisperer
30) Pilgrim’s Progress
31) Forgiveness and Hope
32) Mega Crossword Puzzle Book #18 & #19
33) Chicken Soup for the Prisoner’s Soul
34) Crossword Puzzle Book for Adults
35) 200 Crossword Puzzles for Adults
36) Greatest Inspirational Quotes
Travis has been journaling. “I want to write a book, Dede. For myself. About my journey. About my relationship with Jesus. But I’m no good. I write a few lines and crumple up the paper. ‘God, why are you making me want to write when I can’t do it?’ I get really frustrated.”
That set us off on a discussion about writing. “Travis,” I said, “no one knows how to write in the beginning. You learn to write by writing.” “Don’t edit yourself as you go along or you’ll never get past a sentence or two. Edit later when you have more objectivity about your work.” “When you sit down to write, take whatever comes, Whatever first pops into your mind. It’s a gift from your subconscious.” “Write about the people who are corresponding with you.” “Write about, ‘What I’d do today if I were outside this cell. Where would I be? Who would be with me? What colors would I see?’” “Write about your family.” “Write about your prison experiences.”
I asked Travis to describe his cell. It consists of four gray cement walls. One wall has a wood desk and a skinny slit for a window. Outside the window Travis can see another prison building and some sky. On the opposite wall, a door has a window where he can see the guards at work. A bunk, toilet, sink, and some lockers fill the two remaining sides.
“This is your universe for now, Travis. It’s unique. Write about your universe — how to make a life living in four walls. Anne Frank wrote while confined. In Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl wrote about his life as a prisoner in Nazi concentration camps. Think of other prisoners you might help as you write. No navel-gazing allowed.”
Travis was listening intently. I said, “I’m throwing spaghetti against the wall. You don’t have to pay attention to what I say. I’m brainstorming.”
Travis started laughing. “You’re so funny, Dede.”
“What’s funny, Travis?”
“You give me ideas and things to think about and then say, ‘Don’t pay any attention to me.’”
It was so good to hear Travis laugh. It felt like, for an hour, we traveled together outside his cell. A guard knocked on the window. “Ten minutes,” he said.
Travis had been to the canteen in the morning. “I bought coffee, toothpaste, and some snacks. I have everything I need. I read something. ‘An attitude of gratitude determines altitude.’ I’m practicing being grateful, Dede. When I’m having a hard time, I ask Jesus to get me through the next five minutes. He helps me and then I say, ‘Thank you.’ I live my life five minutes at a time.”
The guard came back. Travis said, “I love you, Dede.”
“I love you, Travis. I’ll see you next month. Next year.”
Travis folded his wrists behind his back and stuck them through the slot in the door. The guard attached restraints and led Travis out of view. With mixed thoughts and emotions (love for Travis and hatred for solitary confinement), I took the scary road back to Lincoln.
Travis’ mailing address:
Travis Christian
BB8099
C-12-242
Mule Creek State Prison
PO Box 409060
Ione, CA 95640