Ashley Doonan & Cathie Curtis - I AM ASHLEY. I DEFINE ME (New Hampshire)
My daughter finally succumbed to her personal struggle with mental illness and took her life four months ago at age 26. As parents, we cannot let go of our children and need to find comfort in knowing that their lives will forever matter. Here are a few of Ashley’s reflections written shortly before she passed:
I value education. Perhaps I’m a bit compulsive in nature. But I am ALIVE. I look at that picture of a girl on her high school graduation day that could hardly fake a smile. Sometimes, I still do that because I know that my ambitions have not exceeded my talents and I will exhibit that explicitly. I conquered something that almost killed me and lost everything I worked for.
But there are still sunflowers. And I still open my blinds to let the sun in. Yes, it’s degrading. But I force a smile and remember that I have always given 100%, and that helps me sleep at night.
More from Ashley that I recently found on her cell phone:
You are electricity, you are synaptic connections, you are a beautiful creation of science, you are human — and some part of you wants to stay here, on this good earth where the grass is still green, and the sun still makes freckles on the faces of the people who turn to her, and the moon still makes sure you are tucked in sleeping, and the cities are still full of people kissing, and you are still capable of dreaming.
I seldom use this platform anymore so it’s all the more difficult to be vulnerable, but I’ve discovered this wonderful organization called “Project I Define Me.” If you know me, you know that I’m committed to destigmatization and promoting awareness surrounding mental health.
Recently, I have overcome some of the most difficult things in my life and I’m proud to be where I am today. I want to empower and inspire others to do the same. Person-first language is so important and during this ongoing journey. I’ve really learned how grossly misunderstood mental health is. I am more than a label or a diagnosis — I am a daughter, friend, sister, girlfriend, and Ph.D. student. I am Ashley, and I’m here to tell you that I define me.
Read more of Ashley’s reflections in the upcoming book, TOMORROW WAS YESTERDAY - Explosive First-Person Indictments of the US Mental Health System -- Mothers Across the Nation Tell It Like It Is. It will be available on Amazon.
Watch my Nautilus Book Awards Author Spotlight video: https://vimeo.com/422993030